My youngest daughter is a rising senior this year. In two weeks she will begin the 12th grade; nine months later she will be old enough to vote and on her way to college. Where has the time gone?
She almost wasn't here. Though her mom and I disagreed over abortion, I would have caved in since my wife felt we needed more time together before having a baby. But God stepped in and created something beautiful that has blessed our lives tremendously. Even though we ended up divorcing, Laura's mom and I have made it a point to love and raise this precious gift as best we possibly can. Soon our job will be over, though neither of us will ever stop being her parent. We can both say that she has made our job a lot easier because Laura has been an angel to raise. Some friends might not think so, but we do.
Since my daughter was 4 years old, she's spent just about every weekend with me. Shortly after separating from her mom I recall standing in line at Wal-Mart or at the grocery store with Laura sitting in the shopping cart chatting up the people in front or behind us. "My mom and dad are divorced. I live with my mom, but I stay with my dad on the weekend." Too much information, but what could I do? She was the apple of my eye, my link to sanity in a life I had no control over.
Before our divorce we spent a Thanksgiving in Nags Head. It was there that Laura sat on Santa's lap for the first time. Although she was deathly frightened by clowns and a bit unsure about Barney, she felt safe with the guy in the red suit and white beard. When it was her turn, Santa asked Laura what she wanted for Christmas. Her reply brought tears to my eyes and I turned with pride to look at the other parents as she said, "I want all the kids to have some food and a place to sleep." The previous Christmas we'd taken her to a charity event for homeless children. Though still in her stroller, Laura remembered seeing those children from various shelters in the Raleigh area. I shouldn't have been surprised at her memory however because Laura remembered all the songs and lines from all of her favorite Disney movies. Many times I've looked at her and wondered if she really isn't an angel disguised as a little girl.
At five, Laura was wiser about church than many adults are. Rather than sit through a boring sermon and pretend to be righteous, Laura would stay in the nursery by herself and color. We had no teacher during the sermon, but Laura was content to stay by herself until I came to get her. The only time she ever left the room on her own was in the middle of a service where the preacher was telling the congregation about his visit to the doctors to have his chest pains checked out. No sooner had he told us than Laura opened the door to the sanctuary and walked in holding a picture she'd drawn. She didn't look for me or acknowledge the congregation in any way, but went up the steps to the pulpit and handed the pastor her picture. Then she turned around and walked back out the way she came. Everyone giggled at how cute she looked. The pastor stood looking down at the picture for a moment and then held it up for us to see. It was a picture of a heart. The pastor said, "God truly speaks through His children. Here he's used this little girl to tell me there's nothing wrong with my heart and I could have saved myself $700 if I'd just trusted Him." That was just another instance that my baby girl has made her dad proud.
Her mom and I have been pretty protective of our daughter, something she's just now starting to rebel against. There have been some bumps along the way: she's required stitches three times in the same spot because she would break her fall with her chin rather than her hands; she's been trampled by a horse; she was running and, not paying attention, turned around just in time to run face-first into the corner of a post - that split her cheek open and left her looking like she'd been in an automobile accident. There was a time when we missed her one winter morning. There was snow on the ground and it was freezing outside. We searched the house, under the cabinets where she liked to hide and eventually looked outside. I finally caught some movement out of the corner of my eye. Laura was up in the tree line chasing a rabbit wearing only her pajamas. I ran after her and just caught her two steps from the road. She received one of the handfuls of spankings she would get for scaring the heck out of her mom and me.
As Laura has grown, she and I have had many opportunities to get away and have some fun times. We've done Busch Gardens to death but still love going there. We've driven down to Orlando for Sea World and driven back in one weekend. We've enjoyed Tweetsie Railroad, Ghost Town in Maggie Valley, and Cherokee NC; Gatlinburg, TN; she's skied at Massanutten, VA; and we've spent a glorious week at Myrtle Beach, SC. Our furthest adventures took us to Lake Tahoe and Las Vegas. For thirteen of her seventeen years, Laura has been my constant companion; even if all we do on a weekend is to go to the movies or play video games at Game Frog in Northgate Mall. We've been invited to Thanksgiving and Christmas at my pastor's home for as long as we can remember. We've been inseparable until I took a part-time job at a theater last Thanksgiving.
For years I've picked Laura up on Friday after work and dropped her off at school on Monday morning. Kissing her goodbye was always hard. As I drove away every week I'd pray the same prayer: "Father, bless Laura. Keep her safe, healthy, and close to your heart. Change me so I can be the best dad I can be." Every night I'd call to check on her day and the world wouldn't seem right until I knew she was safe at home and looking forwards to being with me again on the weekend. Her mom has been great for allowing me to have her as often as I have...even on Mother's Day weekends.
Now things are changing. In a few months I'll have a new wife. Laura will stand in as a bridesmaid at her dad's wedding. She wanted to give me away too, but the pastor said that he's going to ask my ex-wives to do the honors. A few months further down the road and my baby girl will be off to college and her own life. Right now she wants to go to Appalachian State with her best friend Erin, and get as far away as she can from her overly protective parents; but that depends on whether she can get scholarships. She will probably marry some guy who doesn't deserve her, despite her objections to being tied down and having children. At her wedding they will play "Butterfly Kisses" and I'll cry like I've done every time I've heard that song. No matter how old she gets, I'm always going to remember Laura as that little girl with the boyish haircut who held my hand when we walked, whose kisses were special because she was the only one who would kiss me, and who checked me up when she knew I was talking BS. She is God's gift...one I've got to love enough to let go.
Knowing Laura, she's going to come see her dad often. If she doesn't, Pam and I are moving in with her.
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