A Rainy Day at the Beach

Are you ready?
Did it hurt?
Did you feel anything?
Well, did you at least get wet?
Did you do anything yet?
Do you want me to open your legs?
I don’t think they’re supposed to bend that way.
Are you going to eat that?
Would you like some butter on that?
I’m so full.
Thanks for coming.
It was wonderful dear.
Is there an ‘off’ button on this thing?
.
,
.
,
,

And now that you've all blushed, here's the rest of the story:

On Thursday night, Pam and I went to The Lucky Fisherman seafood restaurant, located at Oak Island, NC for dinner. A quick storm came up just as we arrived, with a little hail mixed in, so I dropped Pam off at the door so she wouldn't get too wet. I asked her before she exited the car, "Are you ready?" Pam nodded and dashed up the steps to the restaurant's covered porch. I parked the car and ran through the rain to join her on the 'porch' where other diners waited for seating. I inquired about whether she'd gotten too wet or if she'd been struck by the hail, "Did it hurt?", referring to the hail. She said no, so I asked if she'd even felt the hail, "Did you feel anything?" Again Pam said no. It was pouring down as I dropped her off at the door so I asked her, "Well, did you at least get wet?" I was wiping water from my face and arms. Of course, I'd run from the parking lot, so I'd been exposed to the rain more than she had.

We had taken a seat on the bench outside the restaurant and we noticed some patrons arriving after us going up to a stand beside the door and signing in. I'd assumed that Pam had signed us in and she assumed I had. She looked at the sign-in sheet and back at me and asked, "Did you do anything yet?" I said, "Nope, sorry." and got up to sign us in. We waited about a half hour before they called our name and seated us in a nice quiet corner of the restaurant. We both ordered the "All-U-Can-Eat Crab Legs from the buffet.

Pam had never had crab legs before so I asked her if she'd like for me to show her how to crack the crab legs, "Do you want me to open your (crab) legs?" She nodded and I proceeded to crack the legs and use a kife to extract the meat. After watching me crack open a couple of legs, Pam decided to give it a try. At first she bent the legs sideways as though to break them in half. It required a twisting/pulling motion the way she was doing it, so I said, "I don't think they're supposed to bend that way." In no time she'd perfected the art of breaking open the crab legs and was enjoying them right out of the shell. I pointed to the container of melted butter and asked, "Would you like some butter on that?" Pam dipped a little of the crab into the butter and tasted it, and she smiled.

We made two trips each to the buffet, not counting the trips for crab legs and the dessert. By the time we were done, we were stuffed. "I'm so full" Pam said. The dinner was very nice; the food was great and the company was better. I leaned over and gave her a kiss and said, "Thank you for coming." Pam responded with "It was wonderful dear." And indeed it was a very nice dinner - our first date at the beach. It was a week of firsts: Pam's first trip on an airplane, the first time she'd visited North Carolina, the first time she'd met my pastor and friends at church, the first time she'd seen the ocean, her first engagement ring, which I presented to her the last day we were at the beach.

Upon leaving the restaurant, it was still raining, though much less than when we'd arrived. We jogged to the car and I started the engine. The air conditioner was on the maximum setting and as soon as the cold air assaulted our wet bodies, we began to shiver. I was driving a rental and was unfamiliar with the controls. It took me awhile to find the a/c button, and in the process, I asked "Is there an 'off' button on this thing?!" Pam found it first and turned the a/c off. We drove off, passing a theater on the way back to the condo, so we decided to draw out our date as long as possible by taking in "Get Smart" at the cinema. Although we were full from a great dinner, I still bought popcorn, a large soda and some Skittles for the movie. It was a very nice date on a rainy day at the beach.

Now I understand how someone could assume that two people in love, on vacation at the beach, might make the above statements while engaged in something more erotic than dinner and a movie, but that would be none of your business if we did or didn't say those things behind closed doors.