I'm one of those 'what if' persons. What if I'd accepted that scholarship to West Point when I was in Army basic training; what if I'd not reenlisted for Fort Gordon, Georgia a week before getting that job offer from Gulf Oil Company? What if I'd taken that radio job on the top of the Zugspitz in Bavaria? What if I'd listened to my mother and not married my first wife?
I spent July 4th at a movie (Room 1408 - it was ok) and at the lake in Creedmoor. Just sat in the car with the windows rolled down, reading Subterranean by James Rollins; occasionally looking out over the lake and watching two teenagers paddle a boat along the shoreline. I could remember back to when I was their age, when something like paddling a boat wouldn't have caused my knee joints to snap, crackle and pop. For a moment, I envied their youth and vitality...well, I still do envy them this morning. But the point is, I wish what every middle aged and senior citizen wishes - to be young again, but to know what I now know. What if I could turn back the hands of time, without losing memory of all I've learned during my 55 years?
My daughter, Laura, reminds me that if I'd changed anything prior to her birth, she might not be here today - but I don't believe any of us are here by accident, so she would have been born whether I was her father or not. Certainly, I'd like a chance to undo the mistakes I've made in life; but I don't want to forget them. Without the mistakes, I can't appreciate the blessings.
Take last week. I used a week of vacation, not because I planned on going anywhere, but because I didn't have enough money to buy gas to get to work every day. Instead of working on my job, I worked around my house. The more I cleaned, the more I realized I needed to spend more time taking care of what I have. It was nice having the house to myself. My daughter and grandson were spending a couple weeks in Georgia. I put on an audio version of Randy Alcorn's "Heaven" and listened as he described the place I'm going to spend a lot more time than I will spend on this earth. Kind of put things in perspective - sure I was temporarily out of funds, but I'm not poor; there was food in the frig and cabinets, and work to keep me occupied. The only thing I didn't drag up the energy to work on was Sea Tree.
Sea Tree has been on my mind every day since I first dreamed about it. I'm always coming up with something new to include in the book - far too many to fit inside one book. I will admit that I've asked myself the question, "What if I write this story and no one bothers to read it?" Any money I might make on selling the book is less important to me than knowing I created something that other people could appreciate. I believe we're all here to create something. And it's human nature to want our creations to be appreciated by others. Hopefully that appreciation will be accompanied by an influx of dollars, but just as important is to hear someone say that they were moved or changed by my creation. I suspect God wants to feel appreciated too. I mean, look around and see everything that He has done - even the things we can't see - like how our bodies were designed to heal themselves! What if He did all this work and no one was moved or changed by His sunsets, or the love of a faithful dog, or gave Him credit for creating the plant that provides the cure to a disease?
I believe we were all created to create something with our lives. We spend most of our lives trying to make a living and spend very little creating. What if I write Sea Tree and it bombs? The worst that could happen is that I end up just like I am now. But what if I write it and it changes my life? Now what if everyone follows their dream and succeeds? That's more like the world God created us to dominate.
1 comment:
I think the important thing to remember (and I say this not just as a reader, but also as a book reviewer who must occasionally say negative things about books) is that all readers have different tastes. Even if a piece of writing bombs, and even if everything you hear is bad, that simple guideline almost guarantees that someone, somewhere, enjoyed what you wrote and was moved by it. Just as the most amazing best-seller will have someone who doesn't like it, even the most vilified book has its satisfied readers. If you put your heart into your writing, you can't go wrong with that rule of thumb.
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