I flew out to Newman Grove, Nebraska over the Labor Day weekend to visit my fiance and to prepare for our November wedding. Newman Grove is a tiny farm town of about 800 citzens, located about three hours west of Omaha. I'd never seen such large cornfields and granaries in all my life. Corn, soybeans, alfalfa and beef are the sources of income for most of the residents in the Newman Grove area.
Pam and I attended marital counseling on Saturday morning. Pastor Ken Purscell gave us four personality tests to see if we're compatible. I think he was surprised just how much we'd talked and how well we knew one another. We have the gender roles already worked out - we're sharing responsibilities. It was a fun morning getting to know Ken and going over the wedding ceremony.
Saturday afternoon we visited Pam's parents and siblings. They live a few miles down a well maintained gravel road about a half hour from Newman Grove. Her parents are gracious, quiet people. The first thing Pam's mom said to me was a plantive "It's a long way", meaning the distance from Nebraska to North Carolina. They didn't ask me a lot of questions; not wanting to pry, and satisfied that Pam knows me well enough for us to marry. They simply want the best for their daughter. The Doughty's are a strong family. They take pride in their children and grand children - often traveling to watch the grandaughter play volleyball or a grandson's track meet.
I sat on the front porch and soaked in the view of the sun setting over the family farm until Pam's dad started grilled burgers. Then I hung around him for awhile so he wouldn't feel alone, but I don't think it was a problem for Mr. Doughty. The only thing he asked me is if I was a football fan. The Corn Huskers were playing Western Michigan in Lincoln, and half the state was there to watch the Huskers win 47 to 24. The game was pay per-view, so we listened to the game on the radio while we ate.
We drove the trucks out to the 'back 40' with Pam's dad to turn off the irrigation pump and to see the family camping area next to the river. The Doughty's farm over 400 acres, just the two of them. There's been a drought this summer, so they've been in the fields quite a bit repositioning the irrigation pipes. It's hard work for a young farmer, but these two never complained. They've created a comfortable home with a beautiful view of corn and soybean fields. Our dinner came from the garden. The beds were covered with quilts made by my better half. The bathroom sported an oversized clawfoot tub, and there's a chicken house out back ready to receive a new brood of chickens. Pam's sister dropped by with her grandson, who wanted to camp out so we erected a tent in the front yard. The doors aren't locked at night, so if he got cold or scared he'd be able to come back inside. At eight, he knew how to make an ax out of a piece of broken flint, a stick and some duct tape. Pam's brother brought along his son and daughter with her boyfriend. The teenagers were as quiet and polite as the adults were.
On Sunday we attended the United Methodist Church, a beautiful country church in Newman Grove. Reverend Purscell presided over a sermon from Romans 12 about being transformed by a renewing of the mind. Pam and Ken sang a duet, "I Can Only Imagine". After church we all went to the City Cafe for lunch. Many members of the congregation are seniors; but these seniors are much healthier than seniors in North Carolina. They've worked hard and lived well all their lives, and they enjoy meeting and 'gossiping' with one another. 'Old' to them is someone in their upper 90's and there's some around who are over 100.
Sunday afternoon Pam and I drove to Humphrey for a picnic with her co-workers. There was a good turnout. The food was fabulous. It turned out to be a surprise wedding shower. Pam's friends were so thoughtful. They gave us a little cash and some gift cards so Pam wouldn't have to pack up more stuff for the move. Then we played 'Battle of the Sexes'. The ladies cheated, and the guys did surprisingly well; it ended appropriately in a tie.
On Monday we packed some of Pam's things and threw away quite a bit of stuff. Bernice, one of the nice ladies from the church invited us to dinner. The only place open on Labor Day was Newman Grove Bowl. The bowling alley only allows bowling and smoking after 7:30 PM. Before that, you can come in and eat and drink coffee, but no smoking.
Tim, the owner, brought us prime rib sandwiches as big as the plate. He's quite a character. He refers affectionately to Bernice as 'dumb ass', who smiles and scribbles on his order pad so he has to tear it off and start over. On one wall is a sign that claims, "This is not Burger King. You do not get it your way here. You'll take what I give you and damn well like it." The bowling alley is where the locals come to eat breakfast in the morning and to drink coffee in the afternoons. They don't serve sweet tea in Nebraska, but you can order a pop (Pepsi). The check for three meals came to just over $18.00. Bernice was not too happy that I wouldn't let her pay for it; so she made us come back for breakfast on Tuesday morning so she wouldn't 'owe' us anything.
There is a stong sense of pride and loyalty in rural Nebraska, whether it's over a football team or the family farm. If you break down on one of their roads, the next car to pass by is expected to stop and help, because the closest house might be three or four miles away. American flags fly everywhere. The few Democrats share similar values with Republicans. Neighbors help other neighbors. Were it not for the cold winters, Nebraska would be a great place to live.
As beautiful as the state of Nebraska is, with corn fields that stretch to the horizon, where the sky meets the ground rather than the treeline; it's the people of Nebraska that make it special. Southern hospitality may be a thing of the past here, but in our heartland are people who respect one another, who stand by their neighbors, who love and serve our country, who are passionate about God, family and football; people who are soft-spoken, gentle, determined, and hardy. I'm gaining a wonderful family and good friends, so I hope that Pam finds people here who are just as loving and supportive as those she leaves behind.
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